On Thursday the 30th April, the final Leader's Debate
for the UK General Election was televised. Afterwards, polls managed to suggest that not only had the three candidates individually won, but so had people who weren't even there, with a particularly strong showing for a packet of Bran Flakes in Wigan. Thanks to @tezzer57 for the picture.
Impassioned by the cut and thrust of political debate, the sight of Brown & Clegg doing the hokey cokey and perhaps a smidge of booze, but frustrated by the confusion of the polls, it was obvious that a fool-proof method for testing the mood of the nation was required (yes, that's the actual election, but stick with it.) And that's when it struck. Of course
the colour of clothes that people buy for their children will accurately reflect their political allegiances and voting intentions rather than minor concerns such as taste. Seeing as Love It Love It Love It
launched on the 1st April, just days before the Election was announced on the 6th April, we're in a unique position to accurately (ahem) track the mood of the nation through these turbulent times. So here we have it, the inaugural Love It Election poll! The poll people* are calling 'possibly the most accurate yet devised'.
The methodology is utter cack fiendishly scientific and robust. The colours are allocated to political parties as follows:
Black - SNP. Yellow was already taken so you got your secondary colour. Sorry Scotland.
Blue - Conservative.
Brown - In a second stunning example of English political & cultural imperialism, Plaid Cymru get brown because Green is already taken. Sorry Wales. At least you're not Northern Ireland, all their parties are lumped in under grey.
Green - Green Party
Grey - Others.
Orange - Liberal Democrat.
Pink - Labour.
Purple - UKIP.
Red - Labour.
Turquoise - Conservative.
Yellow - Liberal Democrat
- Multi-coloured garments weren't counted. Technically, they're spoiled ballot papers. I did toy with allocating them to the Monster Raving Loony Party, but then they'd have had a landslide, which seems unlikely, and I simply can't allow the reputation for intellectual rigour that this poll has already garnered to be besmirched.
Polls were taken on weekly sales, neatly timed to coincide with the leader's debate, and as you can see, the results follow the progress of the campaign and its key moments with uncanny accuracy. See? (bah, the numbered labels dropped off the graph when I took the screenshot, but you get the idea)
- Early April - People begin to compare policies using this tool and are surprised to find they must vote Green.
- 9th April - Clegg smiles winningly, looks people in the eye whilst playing pocket billiards and causes a strong surge in sales of yellow & orange clothes.
- 28th April - Brown calls geographically confused woman a bigot, leading to catastrophic drop in Love It customer support for red & pink clothes
- 29th April - Salmond loses appeal to join in televised hokey cokey. Customers snub black.
- 4th May - Cameron stays up past bedtime, causing a late surge in demand for blue & turquoise clothes.
Want to ensure your preferred party secures victory? You know what to do
. And don't forget to vote. We're lucky to be able to. *made up people.